Davide

It’s your finger and how I’m wrapped around it


The day Davide came back, everything between us changed. He took a leap of faith because he couldn’t live without me and it just refocused us both on what really matters.

The time and space helped us figure out different things. We’re coming back to our relationship better humans. He’s no longer jealous and he’s more understanding. He trusts me and my judgement. I have no walls, and I don’t feel the need to run away from him.

I finally opened up about my ex Josh in a way I hadn’t before. I basically told him everything that I wrote in my last post. And I think that helped a lot, he understands it all now.

My favorite part of the day is the mornings. It’s our special time together. We make love , slowly get ready, make breakfast, and spend hours talking, waking up at 5am and just pouring our hearts out until 9am when I have to go to work. It’s my favorite part of the day, when we just completely focus on each other and our relationship. I love it. I feel like I can conquer the world.

We made a pact, that we never were going to curse or raise our voice at each other. Our relationship is going to be a place of love and refuge from the world. When we disagree, when we get upset and want to argue, we stop. We take some time apart, figure it out within ourselves until we can get a place where we can communicate with each other lovingly. I’m a really passionate person, so at first it was tough, but the few times it’s happened… it’s been pretty fucking amazing how it works. 

The things he tells me… just melt me completely. He tells me how I’m the most incredible and fascinating woman he’s ever met. How he doesn’t think it’s possible to ever forget me. How he felt like he couldn’t breathe when I wasn’t in his life. How he feels so lost without me, nothing makes sense. That I make him a better man and he needs us. 

I was completely honest with him about how I’m not capable of a normal relationship or even marriage. To me it’s not about the exclusivity of sex… I require so much deeper than that. I need a life partner.  Someone I can trust emotionally and someone who will be honest with me about scariest things.

I told him how I literally don’t care if we get to a point where he is physically with someone else and I’m physically with someone else. If he needs something from someone else, we’ll figure out how to make it work. At the end of the day, I need a life partner, someone who will be my best friend no matter what. 

His response? “I will do anything as long as I get to spend every day of the rest of my life with you.” When he says shit like that, it just hits me that no one has ever loved me like this before.

I love the way I feel around him. Safe. Treasured. Adored. He amplifies everything and I feel so… light and happy around him. 

This man just has my whole heart. I believe in him so much. Believe in us. 

He gets me. He gets my drive and ambition. He sees all of my flaws and loves every inch of me, even when I drive him crazy and that’s an amazing feeling.

On Saturday night he proposed again… things are happening quickly. Will write about it later tonight about what we’re planning.

About Monica

Living in Newport Beach and Kauai. Survivor of crippling Anxiety and Depression. When I'm not cuddling my adorable dachshund puppy, surfing, or reading, you'll find me on here writing about my love life, loss, and everything in between.

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