Guys My Life Nate


I’m currently in Vegas with my best friend, having the time of my life. I laugh so much my stomach hurts, and I just know that I’m exactly where I need to be with my life right now.

I’m so incredibly happy with my life and the people in it.

There was some drama around my brother’s wedding a few weeks ago. But I went. I survived. I’m dealing with the aftermath of it all best I can. It just all… it hurts a lot.

I’ve come to terms with my family life- it is never going to be what I want it to be. But I am creating my new family now. I get to choose the people who are a part of this next chapter. And I feel so damn good about that.


I’m so ridiculously in love right now.

It’s just this… all consuming feeling. Even trying to find the words for it all… brings tears to my eyes.

I feel so privledged to have someone like him in my life. He’s someone that I have so much respect for, I look up to him so much. He just inspires me so deeply. It’s like… as soon as he walked into my life… I can’t imagine a life without him in it.

I used to think that my great loves were behind me. I couldn’t have been more wrong. I have never felt anything like this before.

I just feel like… finally someone really gets me, ya know? Like to my very core. The deepest and darkest things that I have a hard time being open about… they just open up so easily with him. And he’s been the same way in return. I just want to know everything about him, because the emotional connection we have is just off the charts.

I used to think relationships were hard work. That you just gotta not give up on people and be willing to stick it through. But he… brings so much more dimension to it all.

He makes me believe in soulmates. That somehow… our souls were meant for each other. On this deep level, my soul just recognizes something in him… and feels so damn at peace.

I have this one really big decision in front of me. Something I can’t even write about and explain. But I feel it tugging at my heart, almost tearing it in two.

I don’t know what I’m going to do and what’s going to happen just yet.

I’m actually pretty scared about it. It feels like one of those life defining and life altering decisions.

It’ll be okay though. I don’t allow myself to stress about any of it, I know in the end I’ll make it through.

About Monica

Living in Newport Beach and Kauai. Survivor of crippling Anxiety and Depression. When I'm not cuddling my adorable dachshund puppy, surfing, or reading, you'll find me on here writing about my love life, loss, and everything in between.

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