I’m going to miss him

Davide and I finally have the house all to ourselves again. Combined with the fact that he’s heading back to Italy and I’m headed to Hawaii. We won’t be seeing each other for around a month. So we’ve been going at each other every spare second we can. It’s been an incredible past few days together. This guy is just such an insane lover. I can’t get enough of it. We have so much fun together.

I love falling asleep next him. I don’t usually cuddle while I sleep but he always grabs my hips and drags me to his side of the bed and wraps his arms around me. I’ve gotten used to falling asleep in his arms. His warm breath on my neck. I love how he’s always sniffing my hair and planting kisses on my forehead. It’s going to be weird to not have that.

My favorite things are the adorable notes he leaves for me everywhere. Things like “You’re beautiful.” “I love you so much.” “I’m so proud of you.”
It’s the little things that makes me feel like he’s really rooting for me. He’ll pick flowers and leave it on my car door. He is just so thoughtful.

Over the weekend we went sailing with some friends on their boat. Davide is really good at sailing and being a seaman. It was so cool to see him in his element. It reminded me sooo much of when we first met and we took his boat to Capri Island. We literally spent the whole day just nonstop making love. That was one of the best days ever. Being back on a boat with him… reminded me of that.

I feel like ever since we took a step back with the engagement and Visa, our relationship has been better than ever. I’m with this version of Davide that I had met in Italy. This version of him where I’m in awe of how kind and thoughtful he is. How he makes me the priority of his life and I wonder how guys like this are even real?

We laid on the deck of the boat with his arms around me, drinking wine and watching the sun set. It felt like the perfect moment. It was then that I decided I wanted to go to Rome with him. I love him a lot. He makes me so happy and we do have an incredible life together. I can’t honestly say that he has my whole heart… but I do love him. I just wish I loved him the way I love Nate.

He’s lived in my world mostly since we’ve gotten engaged… would it really hurt me to go live in one of my favorite cities in the world for a month or two? Rome is amazing, I genuinely do want to go. I want to support him and his dreams. My main hesitation is committing to moving there for 6 months and like packing up my whole life. That’s the part that makes me uncomfortable. But going for a month or two? I can swing that.

Audrey wants us all to go out for at least one night at Cowboy Country before Davide leaves. Davide is pretty excited about it, today we practiced this dance move where he flips me. He totally dropped me and we laughed pretty hard over it.

My heart hurts a little right now, because it feels like… something is ending right now and I already miss it. Davide is going back to Italy and I’m supposed to meet him there in a month. A month without him.

Gosh.. it’s so silly, it’s just a month, but I do kinda already miss him. I don’t even want to think about how it’s going to be a whole month without sex, I don’t like going a day. Sometimes he does drive me insane, but I can’t honestly say that I want him to leave. So in the meantime, we’re just spending as much time as we can together.

About Monica

Living in Newport Beach and Kauai. Survivor of crippling Anxiety and Depression. When I'm not cuddling my adorable dachshund puppy, surfing, or reading, you'll find me on here writing about my love life, loss, and everything in between.

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